Why It's Okay To Want What You Want
Let's chat a bit, shall we?
When was the last time you wanted something and you told yourself a story about why you didn't need it or couldn't have it or, even more, why you didn't deserve it?
Until most recently, I've had a long list of reasons as to why I didn't deserve the things I wanted. And why I didn't really need them anyway.
I felt totally ashamed to want the things I wanted.
Like, do I really need fresh flowers every week? Even though every time I walk into the local shop I have a beautiful conversation with the owner, I support her business, and I leave feeling a little more vibrant and high on the fresh dose of plant oxygen?
Or better yet, the one so many of us feel or have felt like they needed more of, but maybe feel too sheepish to admit... MONEY.
Especially in the spiritual or self help world, it can feel as if saying that you actually want to earn more money doing what you love is the spiritual equivalent to a sin.
But for the mass majority of us, the more we have of something, the more we are able to give of that something.
I've been working a lot with my mentor uncovering some blocks here, and I had no idea all the ways in which I was hindering these forms of abundance from coming into my life.
I had no idea how much hindering myself, was hindering those who came to me for support.
The habitual stories I would use to talk myself out of wanting honest love, or wanting happiness, or wanting success, or wanting flowers, or wanting a day off, or wanting deeper conversations, or wanting to just friggen struggle less and love myself more, were endless.
And the majority of it had to do with the story that I almost always had just enough to get by when I needed to get by, so who am I to think I need more than that?
And then one day my mentor said to me,
"Put your hand to your heart and repeat after me...
'IT’S OKAY TO WANT WHAT I WANT.'
In that moment, for the first time in my 31 years, I had given myself permission to want something, whether it was a tissue or peace on earth.
It’s been a long Journey and I've needed many reminders to actually believe this, and a part of me is still learning to trust it.
Sharing with you helps.
IT'S OKAY TO WANT WHAT I WANT
has become a reminder, a mantra of sorts, that has helped guide me through some dark, uncomfortable, internal wintery shifts.
You might not believe it now, but
say it again, and again, until it begins to live in you like a truth.
The same way all those old stories you've told yourself lived in you.
IT'S OKAY TO WANT WHAT YOU WANT.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Nothing I can say will make you believe it, only you can shift that.
It’s okay to want fresh flowers every week - in a vase or in your bubble bath.
To want happiness.
To want freedom for your deepest fears.
To want to stay in on a Saturday night.
To want to spend the rest of your days barefoot.
Its okay to want to be loved.
To want to feel beautiful naked.
To want more money.
To want more freedom.
To want a day off to do nothing. Or everything.
It’s okay to want to go off the grid. Or stay connected.
To want to say no. And to say it.
It’s okay to want to be seen. Or hide for a little while.
To want out of your relationship, whether it’s a friendship or a partnership.
To want to fit in. Or fit out.
To want to live next to your parents. Or not.
It’s okay to want to grow roots in one home. Or many.
To want to leave your job.
To want to go back to school.
To want to cry.
It’s okay to want the life that you want. Even, or maybe especially, if it doesn’t fit into the box size standards you grew up with or what society told you you should want.
It’s okay to want to be surrounded by what you call beauty.
To want to heal. Even if you’re not sure where to begin.
To want deep conversations.
To want to leave your job.
To want to start over.
To want to take him back.
To want to scream.
To want to struggle less.
To want to love yourself more.
To want to see yourself the way you see the ones you love.
It’s okay if you don’t want to be like the rest of them.
To want a damn break.
To want deep, sensual love.
To want kids. Or not.
To want to be married. Or not.
Because it’s perfectly okay to want what YOU want.
To want to be authentically you.
It’s your life after all. ⠀⠀
Getting to the core of what it is you want to cultivate is all part of The Journey...
And deeper than that it's knowing if it's really what you want, something you once wanted, or something someone told you you should want.
It’s what brings you back to the real, authentic YOU.
Where you’re reminded that you’re allowed to want what you want, simply because you exist.
And it's my wish that you will truly believe me when I say that.